As a person living along the Front Range of the Colorado Rocky Mountains for the past 40+ years, it comes naturally to find the symbolism of the “mountain” as a metaphor in our pursuit of goals and dreams, but also, to see the symbolism of the mountain as a barrier that stands in the way of living our best lives.
The summit of the mountain can be a place we desire to pursue such as obtaining a degree or certification, perhaps it’s converting a vision into a successful business idea, for many, it’s achieving a healthy lifestyle, or maybe it’s setting your family up for more favorable options in the future. However, for many, the mountain can be a barrier like an addiction, significant health issues, or destructive thinking patterns that need to be overcome in order to find healing and wholeness. Whatever the reason may be, the mountain stands before us, and moving forward in the direction we desire in this journey of life often requires us to turn our attention to the summit.
THE STAGES OF CHANGE IN PURSUIT OF OUR GOALS AND DREAMS
I’ve spent the past 25+ years working in the court system supervising both juvenile and adult offenders. As a probation officer, I was introduced to a term called the Transtheoretical Model of the Stages of Change, or simply the Stages of Change. Although this is a model we use to assess where our clients are at in their attitudes and motivation levels for change, I soon realized it’s a tool that is useful to anyone who wants to address “change” in their own lives. Based on my experiences, I suspect I will spend most of the time bouncing between Stage 1, 2, 3, and 6 in this blog.
Because of that, let me give a basic description of these stages here. Please feel free to pass over this if you’re familiar with these terms.
Stage 1: PRECONTEMPLATION
- Denial
- Having a lack of awareness of the need for a change.
- A person in this stage will likely underestimate the pros of changing and/or will overestimate the cons of changing.
When talking with my clients, I like to use the illustration of “blind spots” in describing this stage. In the same way as in operating a vehicle, a person who does not see the issues looming in their blind spot have an increased chance of finding themselves involved in an accident at some point “down the road”. Everyone around them see the “issue”, but they themselves are unaware it’s right there next to them. It’s likely I will write more about this in the future.
Stage 2: CONTEMPLATION
- Ambivalence
- A person at this stage can acknowledge the need for change.
- This person has not yet made a commitment to change, possibly because the pros and cons are about even, or a fear of failure holds them back.
Stage 3: PREPARATION
- The person is willing to acknowledge they have a problem.
- In this stage, the person is now willing to commit to change and is actively identifying steps they need to take.
I include this stage because I once read of the dangers of people moving through the stage of Preparation too quickly and into Stage 4 which is “ACTION”. Once a person comes to terms with the need for change, in their enthusiasm for making changes, they immediately want to act without developing a successful game plan. As a former basketball coach, I see the importance of developing a solid game plan to help a person prepare for and overcome forces of resistance that come against the change process.
Stage 6: RELAPSE
- A person must be prepared for what their response is going to be if relapse happens…and it usually will.
- When a person is confident of their plan to address relapse, it can take the fear out of the word and the person will see relapse is simply a part of the recovery (or change) process.
Hopefully this was a bit informative to some of you and thank you for working through this with me because a foundation of understanding is needed as we move forward.
AT THE TRAILHEAD OF THIS JOURNEY
I will use hiking metaphors constantly throughout this blog, so understand that the “trailhead” is simply the beginning of the journey, and the “summit” of the mountain is the goal. With that being said, I start here at the trailhead. Some questions must be answered before we can move forward. Sure, we could go all the way back to when the alarm clock went off in the early morning hours and we tried to remember why we wanted to get up so early… but we’ll fast-forward to the trailhead.
WHAT IS YOUR “WHY?”
In theory, it’s always fun to sit and think about what we want out of life? It can be fun visualizing how our lives can be enriched by getting to the Summit of the mountains we are drawn to… but in the early morning hours, as we load our gear onto our backs, a glance out toward where we are heading can bring the question into our minds… “uhhh, tell me again why I’m climbing this mountain?”
Each of us must figure out the “Why?” for ourselves because, as I will share along the way, the forces coming against us will only increase as we climb higher. We start out on the trail with enthusiasm, but as we gain altitude, the breathing becomes harder, our muscles begin battling fatigue, and our emotions will start playing tricks on us. How we answer this question is important because the “Why?” will be something we need to help us push through the resistance we will soon begin to experience. If we’re not deeply committed to our answer of this question, I suspect at some point, many of us will say, “good enough” and turn around without getting to our Summit.
I will share my “Why?” for the mountain I am climbing in a follow-up post. It’s important for me to share right now that I am not writing this blog from the Summit… I am somewhere along the trail right now. I have my battles; I have my days where I question why I’m out here… and I do all this knowing that turning around is not an option. I may camp out somewhere along the journey for a bit as I work through my own personal resistance, but although turning around is always an option for all of us, it cannot be an option for me. I’ll share more on that later.
CONTEMPLATION STAGE REGARDING YOUR CHANGE
If you are a person who finds yourself in Contemplation (Stage 2) regarding a change you’ve been considering, let me try to tip the scales a bit in favor of the change. Remember, a person in this stage realizes they have a need to change in a specific area, but they are not yet committed to the process, and are working through the pros and cons of making that change.
For those contemplating change, I would encourage you that if you make the commitment to the process, you will separate yourself from the masses.
Using the metaphor of the mountain, consider this:
- There are millions of people who occupy space in the lower flatlands around the mountain, consumed by the busyness of life. They have little thought of looking up to see the mountains, and even less thought of considering what’s up there.
- Now consider the hundreds of thousands who look up at the mountains and often have thoughts of visiting those mountains “someday” … but not today because they are too busy trying to keep pace in the rat race of life.
- Then there are the thousands who take the time to go for drives up in the mountains because they enjoy the feeling of “getting away” from the grind for a short respite. However, at this point, they are not ready to park and get out of the car. They’re still okay living with their circumstances.
- Then there are the hundreds who get in their car and drive to the mountains. They park their car at the trailhead and begin to walk up the trail. But these people only brought a 12oz bottle of water and they have no gear, so they just want to experience walking out a short distance. They have no intentions of going very far from the trailhead… they just want to see if anything is out there in the wilderness.
- Of those hundreds who begin walking up that trail, there are some who have the intention of climbing to see how far they can get. They’re educating themselves about what’s out on that trail as well as the sacrifice required. These climbers are likely to turn around at some point and must be aware of the “good enough” mindset. This mindset is a real barrier that must be pushed through. Some are still weighing how much they want the “change” in their lives, so the information they gather about the benefits and the sacrifice will help them determine if they want to come back prepared to summit in the future.
- Then there are the few who make it to the Summit. They are enjoying the satisfaction of having what it took to get to the top, and the views are amazing!
For those contemplating change, I would encourage you that if you make the commitment to the process, you will separate yourself from the masses. As I will share in my own personal “Why?” in a later blog, when we begin to experience change in one area of our lives, it can open the door to the possibilities in other areas. When you learn you have the strength within to see a change through to its successful completion, it can begin to open our mind to the possibilities in other areas.
WHY FOLLOW MY BLOG?
Years ago, when I coached high school basketball, there were times when I had to call timeouts in a game because my boys were struggling. Depending on whether I called a half or full timeout, I had 30 or 60 seconds to deliver a message to challenge or inspire them in efforts to swing momentum back in our favor. Ready or not, the horn would blow, and the referee would call the boys back out onto the floor. I couldn’t go out and play for them; their parents couldn’t protect them from the opposition; they had to learn to stand and fight through adversity. Even if I wanted to give one of my players a hug in those moments, that wasn’t what they needed. That would come later, perhaps in the locker-room, perhaps right at the end of the game as they walked off the court. But in those moments, my players had to know I believed in them, and they had to learn to believe in themselves through the challenges they were experiencing.
As a probation officer, I have experienced even more urgent times when I sat in my office with a client wondering whether I would see them again after the current appointment. Over the years, it would likely take more than two hands to count the number of clients who have died from drug overdose, or in their hopelessness, they committed an offense that led to incarceration in community corrections or prison. Due to these experiences, I will admit to my clients I want to leave nothing unsaid after each appointment; I want to know I gave them everything I had when they walk out of my office.
These may be extreme circumstances, but they have taught me more often than not that people appreciate candor. If they know you care about them, they appreciate the heart in which a tough message can be delivered. Unfortunately, since this is my first post on this blog, you as the reader have no idea whether I care about you or whether I’m simply trying to build a larger following. Whatever I say in these moments really doesn’t matter … time will answer that question. I simply hope you will take the time to learn where I’m coming from.
Another reason for following my blog would be transparency. I am currently reading a book from a self-help kind of guy who I came across through a podcast recommended to me. As I’ve been reading through the early chapters, I’ve come to the impression he is talking to the reader from the Summit. What is the problem with that? Why would I want to read a self-help motivational book written by some dude who’s wandering around out in the wilderness lost? Of course, I don’t want to do that. But I’m a skeptical person, and when I read of people telling me to follow these 3-5 steps, blah, blah, blah… I get suspicious. I won’t go into anymore on this other than to say this: if you follow my blog, you will read of a person traveling along the trail with you. I have a very specific mountaintop I need to summit at this point in my life, and I am aware of at least another one calling out to me. The trail is long and there are times to stop and take in the view, there are times to look upward to insure we are heading in the right direction, and there are times along the way where we must look back and be encouraged by the progress we have made.
So please consider joining me on this journey. I love the quiet… I love hearing the wind blow through the pines and the aspen trees; I love hearing the water trickle downward from the melting snow up above tree line… and I also enjoy the sound of a friend’s footsteps as we climb together toward the Summit.